It is never easy to come to terms with the fact, that you may be experiencing domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident and is a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour through which the abuser seeks power over the victim. One in three marriages, that breakdown, involve domestic violence. On average, it will take a woman 7 years to leave an abusive relationship, permanently. ‘Hidden crime’ is a contributory factor to the homelessness of women and children.

 

What is Hidden Crime?

Quote from NSPCC, “Young people are often the hidden victims of domestic abuse.”

DO NOT THINK THAT YOUNG CHILDREN DO NOT NOTICE.

Babies recognise emotion at 4 months.

Children are affected by witnessing domestic abuse. All children and young people living with violence and abuse are also at risk of emotional harm, and in some cases may be directly abused, as well. There is also a strong connection between domestic violence, sexual violence and child abuse. Some children may copy the violent behaviour they have witnessed as children, and repeat it later, as adults.

Emotional Abuse
Emotional Abuse can be as damaging as Physical Abuse.
Emotional abuse is an attack on your personality, in order to dominate you
ie brainwashing…

If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened how your husband/partner will react, you are being abused…
It is living in fear of an abusive, aggressive partner…
Threatening gestures ie pointing in an aggressive manner; using physical size to intimidate; screaming and shouting in your face; calling you names; mocking; demeaning; telling you that you cannot cope without him; constant criticism…
Brainwashing you into believing that such abusive behaviour is ‘normal’ within families (it is not)…
Having to conform to his ‘house’ rules, for fear of repercussions…
Distancing you from your friends and family…
Controlling whom you see, whom you talk to, what you read and where you go…
Harassing you…
Having to account for your time spent anywhere…
His threats to commit suicide and/or wielding a knife (it is a form of
blackmail)…
Sulking, scowling…
Ignoring you…
Withholding information from you, breaking promises, constantly lying to you, amounting to total betrayal…
Shifting responsibility ie blaming you for his abusive behaviour…
Making you feel guilty…
Finally, the complete breakdown of trust…

Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is the most recognisable form of abuse.
Physical aggression ie pinching, punching, prodding, poking, pushing, hitting, head-butting, throwing (in an aggressive manner), breaking furniture/doors…

Sexual Abuse
Forcing a partner to engage in sexual acts, against their will, and criticising their performance.

Financial Abuse
Controlling the family’s joint finances…
Criticising your spending and restricting money for your expenditure, whilst he is (secretly) misappropriating the joint funds, for his personal indulgences, whatever they may be…
Not allowing you to possess a credit card, in your name…
Always requiring permission to buy anything, especially for yourself…

Sexual, mental, emotional and verbal abuse can be as terrifying and damaging as physical abuse, but they are harder to see and thus more difficult to recognise.

The perception is that domestic violence is always physical, but many women experience domestic violence and abuse without having been battered and bruised.

ABUSE IS ABUSE, NO MATTER WHAT FORM IT TAKES

We all have the right to feel safe at home.
We all have the right to live without fear of intimidation and threats.
We all have the right to be treated with respect.
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions and choices.

Those who have indulged in ‘hidden crime’ are often in denial, and go on to form new relationships with unsuspecting partners.

It is vital that society gives out the message, that domestic abuse and child exploitation is not acceptable, and the application of the law reinforces this message.